Unboyfriendable

from "All My Little Words" by the Magnetic Fields

Now that you've made me want to die
You tell me that you're unboyfriendable
And I could make you pay and pay
But I could never make you stay

Stephin Merritt is wordy, even by the standards of an indie rock songwriter. I doubt that Conor Oberst could pull off a five-syllable neologism, with the emphasis delicately placed upon the third, antepenultimate syllable.

The Magnetic Fields like to play with gender identity even within the confines of a conventional, Cole Porter-esque ditty. The fact that the speaker of this quatrain is gay makes "unboyfriendable" ambiguous. Is "to boyfriend" someone to convert them to a boyfriend, or to become their boyfriend? Could a straight man--an irresponsible party animal, say--be "ungirlfriendable?" Either way, Merritt's yearning will continue unabated.

The Iman Will Keep His Word

from the Associated Press

Florida pastor Terry Jones has been using the media to make Muslims angry. There's still a chance he may throw a Koran-burning party tomorrow, in spite of the efforts of cleric Muhammad Musri get Jones to douse his pyre.

I just heard on NPR Jones confiding to the press that he believes that "the Iman will keep his word." This indicates that although he knows enough about Islam to insult its millions of practitioners, he can't keep straight which word means holy man and which is the supermodel that also goes by Mrs. David Bowie.